I decided to quit [not my job, don't be silly] and let it go.
But the longer I am awake, the more I realize how cold, lonely and empty I am.

We are so near but yet I feel so far.

***********************************

Dear You,

I don't know how much you think of me.
But I do know how much I miss you.
I wish you were here with me right now so I don't have to write this post.
I guess not.


Loves,

Another dead day

7.30am - Stuck in the Bathroom for 10mn with soap over body because housemate use another bathroom and no water come out from my side. whatthefuck

8.20am - was being ignored.

10.30am - was told that I'm fat like a pregnant lady. whatthefuck

10.52am - was told that I didn't do what other requests for the last two months. whatthefuck

4.30pm - was arguing with I-don't-know-how-to-give-definition-because-there-are-too-many-definitions-for-them type of people. whatthefuck

p.s. brain malfunctioning!! whatthefuck

November's Babes

Happy Birthday to

1. 02nd Ting Hwee
2. 11th Thai Ming
3. 13rd Bee Eng and Chia Jie
4. 15th Wei Ching
5. 16th Yii Ing
6. 17th Reza and YT
7. 19th Hsien Kung
8. 21st Dina and Celine
9. 23rd Crystal Choong
10. 24th Byoung Jun
11. 25th Tim

p.s. If I were to celebrate with every single soul..I will have economic crisis *woohoo*

So...he wrote a poem.
Naaa they weren't for me anyway...

Just forget it...

What color is your house water?

This is at my house o.O

Clear plat with color water -___-"

Not just my house, my colleagues's house at else where also the same... I wonder what happen...hmmm

depression

n.

1. 1. The act of depressing.
   2. The condition of being depressed.
2. An area that is sunk below its surroundings; a hollow.
3. The condition of feeling sad or despondent.
4. Psychology. A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death. Also called clinical depression.
5. 1. A reduction in activity or force.
   2. A reduction in physiological vigor or activity: a depression in respiration.
   3. A lowering in amount, degree, or position.
6. Economics.
   1. A period of drastic decline in a national or international economy, characterized by decreasing business activity, falling prices, and unemployment.
   2. Depression The worldwide economic depression from the late 1920s through the 1930s. In the United States, it began with the stock market crash in October, 1929.
7. Meteorology. A region of low barometric pressure.
8. The angular distance below the horizontal plane through the point of observation.
9. Astronomy. The angular distance of a celestial body below the horizon.

Depression is a mood disorder, understood from the psychoanalytical viewpoint as resulting from an intrapsychic conflict that stems from the ego's difficulties in integrating aggressive drives that are experienced as too dangerous for the preservation of libidinally cathected objects. These aggressive drives turn against the subject via the superego, which becomes too strict and demanding. Depressive manifestations are frequent in other clinical entities where the conflicts are essentially intrapsychic, such as the psychoneuroses.


[source: http://www.answers.com/depression]

That's all I want to say....

Little bit of this and that

I was questioning my colleague why did the users request the tasks to be done from him which is not supposed to be..

After telling him what to do next, I browse through my emails.
Good Lord, the users did send email to me and ask me what to do.
For pit sake, I totally switched off.
I didn't remember to reply the email or even checking the tasks.

I put too much efforts in everything, too much. Too much till I forgot every little things that need my attention. Every little things that are actually important to me.

Now, I'm feeling very tired, physical and mental.
I wonder "do others ever consider what I feel?" or "do others ever consider what I'm going through?" maybe not.
Maybe I should just shut it down like Max said.
Knowing so much, considering so much, giving so much gain me nothing but trouble; gain me nothing but stress; gain me nothing but argument.

What is the point of doing that anyway?



I need to take a walk...

"Why did you cry?" he asked, without hesitation I answered "Nothing" and ran over to his arms.
Being very sweet of him, never dig for the answers why but comfort me with hug and love.

I feel him once again after all.

I asked myself "why did I cry?" I couldn't seek the answer.
Maybe I'm just little too weak for anything.
Maybe I'm just little too tired of everything.
Maybe I just need his comfort and love.

I wish this isn't love, so I could make excuse out of it. I wish this isn't what it drives through to the pain I used to be. I wish I'm just being childish and ignorance and things will be back to normal again soon.

Don't ask me why. Bear with me, would you?

.weekend.&.boredom.

Tragedy in Office

a mess started by the r.@t (s)

It destroyed my cactus root!!

not just the root, bite, ate and killed my cactus!!

>_<>

Lying on the bed on Saturday afternoon after work, watching Studio Ghibli's cartoon again and again...

Got up and turn on two laptops, open all the software I have in them and watch what is going to happen. Yeah, not much a different, they were hanged o.O

Okie, this is no fun.

So there we go two cups of all purpose flour, one tea spoon of baking powder, one tea spoon of salt, six eggs, a cup of melt butter, one and a half cup of sugar, a cup of melt dark chocolate and three table spoons of cocoa powder. Ooo some more chopped nuts. Ah ha!

There it goes into the 200 degree oven for 20 minutes~~~

Ta da!! isk....not looking good

Back to the oven another 10mn in 120 degree....

Me: Tracy, do you smell it?
Tracy: yeah, it smelled very nice a while ago...now it's burning!
[looking at the smoke came out of the oven]

o.O

*ting*

Okay...it's burned but the inside still soft. hmmmm what a loser.

Burned

melt choco

Ha!! It's not an absolute failure, the soft melt chocolate inside became the sauce for the choco cake! Woohooo Tracy called it as a choco brownie hahaha

choco brownie wanna-be

Well, not that bad, at least I tried hahaha

Enjoy the Brownie~ ^_^ and Happy weekend

I was about to blog about how busy I was and how does people see my life going through at work...but naaa stop being whinny lo whatever

Was mumbling the lyric of "[They long to be] Close to You" by Carpenter whole day. So I search for the song in Youtube, and found nice post in piano version of "Close to You"

It is just so passionate to listen to Piano. I'm just so in love with non vocal music. I love Piano.
It is very passionate yet it makes me calm and relief after all.

Enjoy the song... ^_^

I am so so so not myself.
I could not concentrate at all, been feeling very disturbing lately.
I could not even finish the little teeny tiny project which I think I should be able to finish in couple of hours.
Feeling very very very distracting and unfaithful...
Lose appetite, distracting, very concerning about nothing...

hope to sleep without dreaming about being part of work!! whatthefuck

.eat.&.shop.

Warning: lots of photo here jo haha

Yeay~~!!! I went Paddington house of Pancakes...with Max.

I've been craving for pancake and cupcake for months already.
Ooo I was busy and too lazy to bake lo haih...

?? : Steak and salad [RM 35++]

Juicy Steak *droolling*

Galettes: Beacon, Egg and Cheese with Bean [RM 16++]


So...breakfast to me haha



Okeh, I'm done with breakfast pancake, may I have my dessert please?
Being very greedy, we ordered two type of dessert.

Dutch Lady: Plain pancake with jam, ice cream and honey [RM 16++]

Dutch lady slice with ice cream, jam and lemon *yummy*

and Pannekoek: Lemon, Butter and Berry Honey Pancake [RM 15++]

Do you notice how big are they?

Everyone keep starring at us... and our big plate pancakes -___-"


I gave up, too big, we take away the rest o.O

After eat our lunch + dinner, we head for shopping... yeay~~


This is where I got stupid! I spent few hundreds bucks for a pair of jeans from Espirit!!
.
.
.
.
.
.


Espirit's Denim Straight Cut *jeng-jeng-jeng*
[RMxxx you do not want to know this o.O!]

update: after washed, so lose, so long... no so fit anymore :(


It's got me the member club somemore! walao ehh

not just that, I dragged Max to buy a dozen of Cupcakes from Cupcake Chic =.=
do you see how vegetable I am??


Cupcake Chic pax for two


in line cupcakes *tearing-eyes*


pax of six


another pax of six


lots of them *licking-the-glass-door*


Chocolate cupcake with vanilla topping [RM 4.50]


Chocofee [RM 4.50]

Errr how's the cupcake arr? very sweet, very sugar...
Good Lord, they charged me RM4.50 for a sugar bite?
hmmm now I'm so proud of myself, my cupcakes even it's not very very very sweet but this is how I like it lo...You won't bite the sugar from my cupcake right? hehe

anyway, Pancake is still the best :P

Next station: Korean BBQ.
My fav Tae Jung Gam already closed :(
Where should I go? Any suggestion?

Latest Updates:

It is...

We are still in the office...

this is no acting...

rush to finish one B.I.G project -___-"

They are working while...some of us are...


zzz' ing

Me just hanging out and you know...working

I work one okay? I post this entry while running back up hehe


*********************************


Had sushi two days in a row

Sake Salmon @ sushi king

Sliced Squid

Sliced Scallop

Minced Chicken Salad @ Thai [very nice I tell you... hehe]

And also...had Mango sticky rice two days in a row o.O"

Mango Sticky Rice

p.s.: shoulder pain, sleepy, tired...thinking of sleeping @ the sofa o.O