Slow down if you can

Life is moving fast, you've gotta learn, you've gotta do what you have to do; and you've gotta stand up when you fall. Stay focus, be challenging, be the challenge, most importantly stay positive.

You either learn it the hard way or if you're lucky enough you might have the appropriate classes to go through. Like having time to learn, to practice, to execute with time permit.

And it is moving so fast that at times you should slow down and enjoying the journey or you might miss the moment.

Today is not just another day, today is a new day that you can always start doing things you like, allow yourself to learn and explore. Good thing or bad thing is depend on your perspective.

p.s. I've just notice the view from my friend's balcony after being here so many times. It's indeed some view that could be quite spectacular.

Grace

For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace. [Romans 6:14]

Years from now...

If only I could

From the tone of your messages, I wish I could reach out to you and hold you tight and telling you that everything is gonna be ok. I really do, I couldn't.

For what it's worth, thing happen for a reason. It will either make you greater or teach you a lesson. Stay strong, pumpkin.

It's not about avoiding to be at home but then it is about avoiding to be at home. Especially home alone. Maybe I should watch "home alone"...

A short trip home

Last week I went back home for a quick holiday and also to attend my cousin's wedding. But before I arrived home, I have made sure that I will seIe the beach first. I know, that's sound naughty, but a girl just wanna have fun...or a woman T_T
Anyway, just a quick update here with a few pictures. And I probably should post my London, Langkawi, Kuching, and Melbourne trip soon T__T Sorryness.

On the way to Kep, Cambodia

A small port near the chalet that lead to Rabbit Island, Kep, Cambodia

My morning breakfast view, it was so serene

In front of the chalets, the view is amazing

Kep Beach

A long the way going up to Borko Mountain, Kep

An abandon building on Borko Mountain, Kep, Cambodia

The urn in Sompov Pram Temple, Borko Mountain, Kep

Borko Waterfall

Oh and I was being a tourist for two days since one of my friends was visiting Cambodia as well. The funny part was she looks more Cambodian than I am, so I ended up being asked for the entrance ticket while no one bothering her *facepalm*

The Cambodia National Museum

Happy 60th Independence Cambodia!

And here to my beautiful cousin: May you grow old with your prince charming and live happily ever after!

Hi

"Hi, Hello, How are you? What?" [Scandal US]

That feeling...

Everybody's Got Somebody But Me - Hunter Hayes ft. Jason Mraz Cover

You Belong To Me - Carla Bruni

See the pyramids along the Nile

Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle

Just remember, darling all the while

You belong to me

See the marketplace in old Algiers

Send me photographs and souvenirs

Just remember when a dream appears

You belong to me

I'll be so alone without you

Maybe you'll be lonesome too

And blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane

See the jungle when it's wet with rain

Just remember 'til you're home again

You belong to me

[instrumental verse, as intro]

I'll be so alone without you

Maybe you'll be lonesome too

And blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane

See the jungle when it's wet with rain

Just remember 'til you're home again

You belong to me

Despair

"When someone else's happiness is your happiness, that is love." [Lana Del Rey]
I first couldn't give a dime of its meaning, I just hang on to the little hope that I had. But when I saw it, I admit that you are happy. You are, and I love you too much to hurt me, I love you too much to hurt you. I just love you too much to be selfish and to ruin your happiness. There is nothing left for me to do now but to give in.

Like we said, if I have to live my life again, I will find you sooner so I can love you longer. And if I had to choose again, I'd still choose you.

Be good, and be happy. I will always love you.

Redefining

Redefining.
I was asked: how close are you both?
It's startled me. I started to ask the same question to myself. How close are we? How do you define closeness?
When you shared personal stuffs or thoughts or what went through your mind and all? Does that mean you both are close? How would you know if the conversation that were relaying to you are the facts or means anything? This has been mingling in my head for days now.
1. Why would I think it's not the fact? Ermmm to be honest I would use the word Truth.
2. Due to number 1 question, I doubt the relationship.

I observe people as I interact, I learn the fact about the behaviors, how they deal with certain circumstances provided with what they have. I try to remove and note the negative vibes and pick up the positive ones. It has not been easy, but I'm getting there.
There are time, people, and place that you know that it is the fact and it is the truth without second thought. As we grow, we learned, an experience, it has became part of us. Becomes and instinct of what about to happen and what can you do to prevent or deal or live with it. It doesn't mean it's all problems. Could be anything, could be a challenge, an achievement, getting to know someone, so on and so forth.

This part of the journey, has been challenging and exciting and painful; and sometime all of them at once. When I have doubt in a relationship, I go back to see what have done so far? Where have we been? Has it all been a lie? Or does mean that I have new things to learn to accept and to live with this new behavior that I have not encountered before?

Don't get me wrong, I am referring to the general and normal relationship here. It could been anything. It just the way of human lives. We all have new things to learn every new day.

So given the time that I know the person and how much I have known them today, I would answer: Yes, we are close. And we click that is why we get along in such a short period and can actually tell one and another. I need to give them and myself more time to learn about each other and from each other. That would teach me how to trust in a relationship and no doubt shall be given.

I am redefining this journey, a few things, starting from this relationship. To make it better, to keep us all closer.

"When you kiss me on that street, I kiss you back."
The lyric of the song just draw my thought to you. Tear is pouring on those cheeks with no explanation. I didn't know that I would miss you this much.
I'm drenched, in your love. I'm no longer able to hold it back.
I'm sorry if you are reading this and have to know this. But I just miss you so much.

Big house with an empty heart.

If

I should have told you earlier

Happy Ending by Mika

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love [repeat]

I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.

Drenched by Wanting 曲婉婷

When minutes become hours
When days become years
And I don't know where you are
Colors seem so dull without you
Have we lost our minds
What have we done
But it all doesn't seem to matter anymore

When you kissed me on that street, I kissed you back
You held me in your arms, I held you in mine
You picked me up to lay me down
When I look into your eyes, I can hear you cry
I'm drenched in your love
I'm no longer able to hold it back
Is it too late to ask for love
Is it wrong to feel right
When the world is winding down
Thoughts of you linger around

Have we lost our minds
What have we done
But it all doesn't seem to matter anymore

When you kissed me on that street, I kissed you back
You held me in your arms, I held you in mine
You picked me up to lay me down
When I look into your eyes
I can hear you cry for a little bit more of you and I
I'm drenched in your love
I'm no longer able to hold it back

When you kissed me on that street, I kissed you back
You held me in your arms, I held you in mine
You picked me up to lay me down
When I look into your eyes
I can hear you cry for a little bit more of you and I
I'm drenched in your love
I'm no longer able to hold it back

The fight

These couple of days were the downer.
It has come to my sense that I start to question myself: why and how this situation has arrived?

Overwhelming was not chosen by my dictionary, I am telling myself that I am lacking and in need of intense learning more and quick. But things just keep coming and the surrounding just keep growing while I am sitting in one place and concentrate to archive one thing at a time. I felt rather slow and upsetting.

Perhaps, I'm not ready for this. Perhaps, I am just not it. Perhaps, it's gonna take a great challenge to prove that I'm worthy.
I'm going to choose that it is a great challenge and I shall and worth fighting for. Let's pray that I will last the fight.

I am blessed and loved because thy loved

First thing first, this is a belated post. I drafted this last month and completely left it out.

This year is different.

I didn't arrange my own birthday dinners or parties to match with different groups of friends or choice of food and/or location. I just didn't. I just played by ears.

To my surprise, it was a remarkably, in particular, good day. 

Dinner after dinner, cake after cake, gift after gift, drink after drink all weekend.

And those weren't the best part; the best part is when you realized that you are remembered. You are remembered and cared and loved. Someone who cares enough to wish you, cares enough to catch up for a quick coffee or dinner. Cares enough remember what you prefer and like.

That is probably I could ask for, I am so blessed to wake to this great day and continue to be awesome as what God has planned for me.

I couldn't thank you all enough, but I know you know that I love you guys! 

A really early gift from my Krazy princess

A thoughtful gift from Stranger

My favorite (color) necklaces from Reuben and Prav

Another thoughtful gift from Reza and Cheryl

Another favorite gift from Clement and Fezzen

Favorite gift to match the cocktails gift from Ivan and Denise

The you-know-what-I-want-Bitch! gift from the Matabane (answer: it's the summer chair)

Cute gift from Kak Ju

Cake!

Home baked favorite cake (Red Velvet) coats with favor color icing

More delicious cake

The gifts to myself was a sweet sense from Prada

And a pampered get away holiday at Langkawi

p.s. the girl in the picture was not me, I was the one who took the picture. 

Ben Harper - Another Lonely Day

Set The Fire To The Third Bar - Snow Patrol ft. Martha Wainwright

"Set The Fire To The Third Bar"
(feat. Martha Wainwright)

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My fingers in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have traveled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms 

Lingering

It's scary and depressed, and desperate knowing what lie ahead waiting for oneself in the future. You've seen it or predict it, you'd be able to change it but what if you did not want to change? And yet, it's torturing to live with it.
There is no what if in this case, I just did not want to change anything yet. I do not know why do I want to preserve this memory and the past to live with me in the future, but somehow, that is so far the most comforting to have at the moment.
Would you cry over the lost of something you've never had?

The pathway

Remembering how calm my parent were during the bad times we went through and never to let us know and feel disturb or scare. I wonder if I could be like them one day.
From actions, they tough us to be ourselves, to be brave, to embrace the little things that we were given and earn. To understand one whom is going through stages that might not fall in our radar.

Couple of times, I gave up. I gave away the path I was hesitate to choose. I was undecided till time decide them for me. And I'm regret, yes, I still am.
Questioning myself why I gave up certain opportunities before that were given to set up a new stage of life. Is there something that I'm waiting for? Is there anything else beside this?
I'm anxious to know and hope that there will be more.

For the one whom had asked me for opportunity and I gave you up, thank you and I'm sorry for gave you up.
To you, whom I still believe in, thank you for asking before. Now might not be the perfect path, but I'm glad we meet again.

I am learning to accept those decisions and results, it's not easy. For any of you whom find it hard to do so, I hear you. Let's move on and stay positive for a better path that we are moving to, for another opportunity that is always around us. Don't occupied yourself with things that you cannot change, accept and learn them. Keep searching, keep seeking, keep living.

With the recent travelings and events, I learned to love myself a little bit more. That I was given opportunity to explore life, to learn, to taste and most of all value and remember what happiness is.

Another small step of getting to know where I wanna be. A small step but a step.

At Kiraku Japanese Restaurant

Recently Cyberjaya development grows really fast, lots of resident areas and shop lots. New restaurants were introduced, some are good and some aren't especially Tappers (they are horrible base on my opinion)

Today I visited a new Japanese restaurant at Shafbury business centre. Cozy and comfy, service was ok, staffs are polite and food quality was not bad as well. But it has Cyberjaya's pricing, the limiting and have-to-pay-pricing, a.k.a quite expensive. But I supposed it was a trade between driving out to bigger town and spending money on petrol, toll, parking and time.

Love their decoration!

Maguro steak, tuna steak which intentionally cook and taste like red meat steak. It's pretty good.

I ordered maguro steak, beef and tempora set, and Saba shioyaki; and the bill came RM 132.

Food: 7/10
Service: 7.5/10
Environment: 8/10
Pricing: 6/10
Overall rating: 7/10

The recollection

Since early last year, I have only to remember to stock up hard liquor and beers... And recently I'm craving for the long lasting flavor and full mouth bitter flavor from wine. So it's time to stock up.

So last Sunday I finished up the whole bottle, with a little help from a friend though :), of a full bodies Nederburge Cabernet Sauvignon and Shiraz 2010 from South Africa. It was a pretty selection.

Claret Chateau de Poriton Cabernet Sauvignon, France, a little too sour for me though. Would be nice with red medium rare meat. That reminded me of the grilled wagyu beef I had in my last trip to Kota Kinabalu.

So I ended up bought a couple more bottles to endure the taste a little longer.

Added to my very own minibar which locates in my bedroom for easy access whenever I feel like it.

Ahhh what a good feeling by just looking at them.

Anyhow, Chinese New Year is around the corner and I would like to wish everyone a prosperous and blessing year a head.
Till then happy holidays and have a safe journey wherever you are heading to ;)

The first step

“The first step to solving any problem is recognizing there is one.” [Will McAvoy]

Limited edition Cointreau by Alexis Mabille

This is the 4th bottle this month...

Breakin' A Sweat

I came upon one of the Skrillex's song, and I kinda like it; I mean it's good for running. I will keep it on loop when I go for a run. So I look up just to see what is the lyric like, well, just like every other of Skrillex's songs, not much in content. I know I sounded silly now, but look here, that's all in the entire song.

"Breakin' A Sweat"

(with The Doors)

I'm breaking a sweat - It's alright!

I'm breaking a sweat - I'm sayin' it's alright!

I'm breaking a sweat - It's alright!

I'm breaking a sweat - Come on baby light my fire!

I'm breaking a sweat - It's alright!

I'm breaking a sweat - I'm sayin' it's alright!

I'm breaking a sweat - It's alright!

I'm breaking a sweat - Woo! That's good! 

Anyway, here is the music video, enjoy!