December 24th, 2004, I bit my families and friends good bye just to find myself in a foreign land. Alone and scare. Things were different, strange languages, and different cultures.
Today, December 24th, 2014, 10 years later; I stepped on another foreign land. Though, I'm not gonna stay here another 10 years, gonna be here for a week or so just to pet myself on the back as I deserve it.
Remarkably, I made it this far. A long journey, all by myself but not always on my own. 10 years away from home and be independent, made lots of friends and like they said you can't make friends without making a few enemies.
I really appreciate everyone efforts and helps, thoughts, and cares, and loves. You are one of the reasons, I keep moving. Please continue be amazing as who you are and spread the loves and hopes to whoever you can. They said never look down at people, unless you lend a hand to lift them up.
I'll take this chance to wish everybody a very Merry Christmas and Wonderful New Year!
A lot has been happening for the past couple of months. There were ups and downs, it was exciting and yet thrilling and some hard decisions have to be made in such sort period.
I am so so stress and so blessed at the same time, just an odd mix feeling.
I just wanna lye down on the sun launcher and sipping beers, blankly starring to the sky, and shut down my mind some time.
Anyway, will be updating more soon. For now, this song keeps me hopes up.
Mumfords & Son - I will wait
Well I came home
Like a stone
And I fell heavy into your arms
These days of darkness
Which we've known
Will blow away with this new sun
But I'll kneel down
Wait for now
And I'll kneel down
Know my ground
'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
So break my step
And relent
Well you forgave and I won't forget
Know what we've seen
And him with less
Now in some ways
Shake the excess
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
Now I'll be bold
As well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart
So tame my flesh
And fix my eyes
A tethered mind freed from the lies
And I'll kneel down
Wait for now
And I'll kneel down
Know my ground
Raise my hands
Paint my spirit gold
Bow my head
Keep my heart slow
'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
Songwriters
LOVETT, BENJAMIN WALTER DAVID / MUMFORD, MARCUS OLIVER JOHNSTONE / DWANE, EDWARD JAMES MILTON / MARSHALL, WINSTON AUBREY ALADAR
Life is moving fast, you've gotta learn, you've gotta do what you have to do; and you've gotta stand up when you fall. Stay focus, be challenging, be the challenge, most importantly stay positive.
You either learn it the hard way or if you're lucky enough you might have the appropriate classes to go through. Like having time to learn, to practice, to execute with time permit.
And it is moving so fast that at times you should slow down and enjoying the journey or you might miss the moment.
Today is not just another day, today is a new day that you can always start doing things you like, allow yourself to learn and explore. Good thing or bad thing is depend on your perspective.
p.s. I've just notice the view from my friend's balcony after being here so many times. It's indeed some view that could be quite spectacular.
From the tone of your messages, I wish I could reach out to you and hold you tight and telling you that everything is gonna be ok. I really do, I couldn't.
For what it's worth, thing happen for a reason. It will either make you greater or teach you a lesson. Stay strong, pumpkin.
Friday, November 15, 2013
It's not about avoiding to be at home but then it is about avoiding to be at home. Especially home alone. Maybe I should watch "home alone"...
Last week I went back home for a quick holiday and also to attend my cousin's wedding. But before I arrived home, I have made sure that I will seIe the beach first. I know, that's sound naughty, but a girl just wanna have fun...or a woman T_T
Anyway, just a quick update here with a few pictures. And I probably should post my London, Langkawi, Kuching, and Melbourne trip soon T__T Sorryness.
On the way to Kep, Cambodia
A small port near the chalet that lead to Rabbit Island, Kep, Cambodia
My morning breakfast view, it was so serene
In front of the chalets, the view is amazing
Kep Beach
A long the way going up to Borko Mountain, Kep
An abandon building on Borko Mountain, Kep, Cambodia
The urn in Sompov Pram Temple, Borko Mountain, Kep
Borko Waterfall
Oh and I was being a tourist for two days since one of my friends was visiting Cambodia as well. The funny part was she looks more Cambodian than I am, so I ended up being asked for the entrance ticket while no one bothering her *facepalm*
The Cambodia National Museum
Happy 60th Independence Cambodia!
And here to my beautiful cousin: May you grow old with your prince charming and live happily ever after!
"When someone else's happiness is your happiness, that is love." [Lana Del Rey]
I first couldn't give a dime of its meaning, I just hang on to the little hope that I had. But when I saw it, I admit that you are happy. You are, and I love you too much to hurt me, I love you too much to hurt you. I just love you too much to be selfish and to ruin your happiness. There is nothing left for me to do now but to give in.
Like we said, if I have to live my life again, I will find you sooner so I can love you longer. And if I had to choose again, I'd still choose you.
Redefining.
I was asked: how close are you both?
It's startled me. I started to ask the same question to myself. How close are we? How do you define closeness?
When you shared personal stuffs or thoughts or what went through your mind and all? Does that mean you both are close? How would you know if the conversation that were relaying to you are the facts or means anything? This has been mingling in my head for days now.
1. Why would I think it's not the fact? Ermmm to be honest I would use the word Truth.
2. Due to number 1 question, I doubt the relationship.
I observe people as I interact, I learn the fact about the behaviors, how they deal with certain circumstances provided with what they have. I try to remove and note the negative vibes and pick up the positive ones. It has not been easy, but I'm getting there.
There are time, people, and place that you know that it is the fact and it is the truth without second thought. As we grow, we learned, an experience, it has became part of us. Becomes and instinct of what about to happen and what can you do to prevent or deal or live with it. It doesn't mean it's all problems. Could be anything, could be a challenge, an achievement, getting to know someone, so on and so forth.
This part of the journey, has been challenging and exciting and painful; and sometime all of them at once. When I have doubt in a relationship, I go back to see what have done so far? Where have we been? Has it all been a lie? Or does mean that I have new things to learn to accept and to live with this new behavior that I have not encountered before?
Don't get me wrong, I am referring to the general and normal relationship here. It could been anything. It just the way of human lives. We all have new things to learn every new day.
So given the time that I know the person and how much I have known them today, I would answer: Yes, we are close. And we click that is why we get along in such a short period and can actually tell one and another. I need to give them and myself more time to learn about each other and from each other. That would teach me how to trust in a relationship and no doubt shall be given.
I am redefining this journey, a few things, starting from this relationship. To make it better, to keep us all closer.
Tuesday, October 08, 2013
"When you kiss me on that street, I kiss you back."
The lyric of the song just draw my thought to you. Tear is pouring on those cheeks with no explanation. I didn't know that I would miss you this much.
I'm drenched, in your love. I'm no longer able to hold it back.
I'm sorry if you are reading this and have to know this. But I just miss you so much.
