Once a kingdom...doesn't mean forever a kingdom

[Source: KI-Media]

We were once a great kingdom. Where is it right now? I don't see anything left over. All I see is only the tears and blood of our people, crying for the place to stay..for food to eat and for a piece of peace of life.

This is really sad, I take a look back, for the last 20 years and now there is no different and they calling us as A Developing Country.

In my dictionary: A Developing Country is the country that is seeking for what they are desired to have and to own. A country that does not have one thing today and tomorrow they crave for it. Sooner or later they would own it, they would own what their nation, their people, their country desired to.

BUT no, all I see from what we are doing day by day, is nothing but to destroy our mother land.

If this keep continuing we will all soon vanish and disappear one day. DOOM~!!

All this while, we are just living our life at the very bottom level and trying to survive each day. There is no world recognition standard school. There is no international business franchising investment. Don't even talk about law and human rights. This is embarrassing and humiliating.

Everyone wouldn't raise their voice over, because they scare. They scare of losing things, losing their abilities to protect what they own. Losing the people they care about.

I believe we still can protect what we own and people we care about if ALL OF US UNITE. If we unite, that one person that drove us to this hell won't be able to do anything anymore. I know it is hard to unite if we all do not understand what are actually own.

Once upon a time, we have our rights to demand our country in peace. We have our rights to speak and to choose who is suitable to lead us. And YES~ we still have them. Do not let one person blind fold you and tell you that you do not have those anymore. We are democrat and we deserve to speak up or to own what we should have for being a living being.

This country does not belong to one person. If no citizens, no unity, that one person could not lead anything. They are just like us. They are just normal people that a very small group of people obey [not respect]. That's it. We are a big group of people that do not want that one person lead us anymore because they have never keep their promises even once.

Let's us all own our rights to choose

Let's us bring our home to peace

Let's us all being respected

Let's us all Unite

...because all of us deserved it.

Smart Home

Few days ago I visited a so-called Smart Home in MMU. It has not been completed yet, still under construction and only certain people under project can go in. Hmmmm don't know how to describe lolz. It's smart home lo. Top my brain, smart home is the house that full of technologies and very powerful something like there is a sensor to sense the temperature and change the temperature of the room automatically. But~ apparently there is non sensor inside [may be they will put later on or what; because it is still under construction~ about 70% done] Anyway, it seems like nothing beside the big big screen TV or the TV refrigerator or Smart Remote Control. I mean it's cool but naaa I expect more if I were to call it smart home.

Front door

Living room (left), door to bed room (right)

50" TV in the living room with 5.1 surround sound (5 speakers, 1 woofer)

Smart remote control

This is smart, why? Because it can learn the function from other object to another. Smart, right?

Sound project in the bed room [~ some of us can't sleep at night so need some music to lure their mind =.="]

This one I think also a bit smart because whatever you are gonna write on that white board you can save it or even print it out. Cool~ Some professors might need this, it's gonna help them a lot.

A TV Refrigerator~ super le
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Only these can make somebody go day-dreaming already.... =.="

*da ben dan* miaow is day-dreaming :D

Let's conclude here, our so-called smart home has [for now] one 50" TV, two 37" TV, sound project, super speaker and a woofer, TV-refrigerator, smart writing board, smart remote control. Did I miss out anything? Nop..that's it. I really hope they are gonna put more more technologies things than this lo :D [crossing my fingers].

UPDATE <11.56pm>:

A Nitendo WII had just arrived to the smart home today [still crossing fingers]. A wireless play station that can play game, sport [for e.g. golf, tennis etc] had placed inside the house now. According to my friend they are actually developing it, so, hopefully we will see something new soon hehehe.

UPDATE 2

When I reach home around <11pm> my house was smoky like smoking chicken~!! [=.="]. MY goodness~ What had just happen?? nobody tell me a thing. Everyone close their room door and never shown up. Can anybody tell me what happen? I know somebody must had cook something and forget to watch the port and it burned the whole port or that person did not know how to use the stove at all. Geez~ watch your what you are doing la....

Now my clothes that hanged down there smell like smoking port!! yuck~~~!!!

Mariah Carey - I stay in love

Oh, baby
Baby
I stay in love with you

Dying inside cause
I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even
Really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive

If you dont' know me
At this point
Then I highly
Doubt you ever will
I really need you
To give me
That unconditional love
I used to feel
It's no mistaking
We're just erasing
From our hearts
And minds

And I know we said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby
I stay in love with you

And I keep on
Telling myself
That you'll come
Back around
And I try to front
Like "oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you

Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na
Baby
I stay in love with you

It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gon' act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all now

Hey
What I wanna do is
Ride shotgun next to you
With the top down
Like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know
Our heart is breaking
Can we learn
From our mistakes
I can't last
One moment alone
Now go I know

We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby
I stay in love with you

And I keep on
Telling myself
That you'll come
Back around
And I try to front
Like "oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you
Now no matter what I do
Baby, baby
I stay in love with you

We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby
I stay in love with you

And I keep on
Yelling myself
That you'll come
Back around
And I try to front
Like "oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you
Now no matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you

I stay in love
Love
Oh, I stay in love

p.s. somehow Mariah released this song at the same time... sigh~

Last Sunday, Reza organized a gathering. It was sort of gathering because I have not seen him for quite some time already. We went to have lunch at Hainanese Chicken Rice in Serdang. At first I have a little bit bad impression about the shop because it does not have air con or even enough fan and also it is kinda family business which every one, included ah ma ah kong also need to work one, help around. There was a queue lined up to take away the chicken rice make me more curious how good is it.

As they said it is nice, I agreed. It just it little bit small portion lo. Even me also was not very full [okok only, but Reza had to have extra two sticks of nuggets and a hotdog T_T]
But it's ok because the price also very reasonable. We ordered each person an individual dish of chicken rice and it cost each dish RM 2.80 ONLY [next time will go again for a special dish as recommended by the owner :D]

We went to watch New Jackie Chan and Jet Lie show, The Forbidden Kingdom. Hmmmm not quite up to my expectation. A bit disappointed~~ sigh...

Reza, I really appreciate what you have done. And thanks for the Hamsters. I would love to keep them but they are good with you [:)]. Take care of yourself and the hamsters too.

Oo I dragged Dennis to go together also because his status was: Bored and Nothing to do. One snap he followed us to watch the movie hehe [Hope you were less bored though because I kinda left you all by yourself too~ pei seh >.<]

Finally!!

I got my new phone already~ the bulky type that I like from Samsung. I love Samsung, I love their design. It is because since I was young the first clamshell phone I know is Samsung. Therefore, other brands that comes out very good but in clamshell pattern I kinda not really like them, I thought it was unoriginal. [sorry Kevin and Peter and Dennis and Batman and Robin...darn why all of you are not using Samsung, I just love Samsung]

But wait, let me tell you a little story tail about this phone. I first ordered it from the website [I cannot find it outside the shop anymore, probably it is too old to sell now a day]. There are two obstacles.

The first one when I did the credit transferring to the seller, the ATM machine was fail and it kept my money inside. I spent 8 days to solve it [where the Bank services told it takes only 3-4 working days]. Wasted my time, money and energy!! After everything is done. I was very happy because the seller did sent it over and reach Selangor in two days later. I was waiting for two more days and I heard nothing from the phone. I was worried so I call the
POS services they said they already delivered to the address since the past two days which consistent with the seller.

Here is the second obstacle, it ended up that the mailing/marketing people [I'm not sure what are they...may be management?] already took it, distributed to the place that they suppose to send it to but it went to the wrong department. I went crazy the whole day because I couldn't find it and I didn't even know who has it. I called this person, that person that anyone told me they sent the parcel to... anyone... I still didn't know who has it. Until almost the end of the day I couldn't wait no more, I walk to the place and ask them to talk face to face with the person that actually took it. But Thanks God, before I throw the fire on anyone, I got a called from Student Services~ Surprise!! my phone was there. Thanks to Mr. Quek whom still remember my name and MY DEPARTMENT FULL NAME!! For crying out loud, the people in my working place no one know my department full name!!! Unbelievable!

It was so complicated and make me feel so tired of this place [country]. I had a rough month! not day but month. They called themselves a service provider, but they couldn't deliver.

To whom it may concern,

If you like your job or not please give it at your best and do have self respect. People will respect you even they cannot see your face. If you work just for the sake of salary and not liking your job then do not say you like the job and even better don't do it because it will affect a lot of people.

Anyway, back to the story... errrr it is actually that was it. I got the phone and I'm freaking happy until now [:D]

Outter flip

Inner

YESH~ it is a Flip Screen Bulky Clamshell Samsung hahahaha

and it has picture focus 3.2mp Camera with lens protector. Ooo ooo one more things I can eventually charge it using the USB port.... so cool lolz [may be everyone already knew and I just know. But I'm still happy]. I love it~ it worth for the obstacle though [:P]

p.s.: Ah Zenn, I've promised you I'll stop blogging the sad things anymore...so this is the starting [:P]
p.s.s: okay~ now I need to sell of my two months old phone [:D] Anyone interested please contact me ya [Samsung E210]

Ever since he left me, I cried, cried, cried and cried. It hurt, hurt, hurt and hurt. It is really hard to accept that we are living apart now [I still ask myself if it is real]. We are just another stranger to each other from the day you decide to walk out of my life. It is hard to accept the truth of losing the person we care about. To see them one day and not to see the next. And we know we will never see them again. It's painful.

Every time I saw him, I really wanna talk to him. But the very next second, I realized I'm nothing to him. I'm no longer someone who can touch his life any more. I am only someone that should keep distance from him.

My good friend once sent the below questions to me, and I feel rather sad and thankful at the same time. Think and try to answer these questions:

1 – Name the 5 richest people in the world.
2 – Name the last 5 Miss Universe winners.
3 – Name the last 10 Nobel Prize winners.
4 – Name the last 10 winners of the Best Actor Oscar.

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Can't do it? Rather difficult, isn't it?
Don't worry, no one can remembers that.

Applause dies away! Trophies gather dust! Winner are soon forgotten!

Now answer these questions:
1- Name 3 teachers who contributed to your education.
2- Name 3 friends who helped you in your hour of need.
3- Think of a few people who made you feel special.
4- Name 5 people that you like to spend time with.

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More manageable? It's easier, isn't it?
The people who mean something to your life are not rated "The Best", don't have the most money, haven't won the greatest prize.

They are the one who care about you, take care of you, those who, no matter what, stay close by.


To Ben,

You are the teacher whom taught me how to be myself, sharing, caring and living,
You are a friend whom help me in hour of need,
You made me feel special,
and I always want to spend time with you.

I understand why do you need to go without me even no one ever understand you. You can just call or text to break up with me and never care about me. But you didn't, you came to me and even ask me for my convenience. You show me your sorrow for doing such a thing to me and I know you do care about me, it's just we couldn't go any further together. Thank You.
[Now some of you might laugh at me and say I'm stupid for believing such a thing. Screw You!! I love him and I trust him]

Although, I couldn't live with you from now on but you were once counted into my life. And I'll never forget you. Even I am broken now, hopefully, one day I will recover and move on like you.

Thanks to Zaai Yuen and Ngeow whom came to my house in the middle of the night when I really need a friend to talk to.
Thanks to Zaai Yee whom always believe in me and give me inspiration conversation to live on.
Thanks to Max whom tried to talk to me even he didn't know how.
Thanks to Chee Er, Kelvin, Zenn, Dennis, Kevin, Wang, Reza, Chloee and everyone for you all loves and cares. I really appreciate that.

For one second I thought I'm fine but I'm not. Things turn out of hand when I hit the road and realized that my usual life is gone. It took my everyday life from me on the day he went away. Turn left I saw me and the past. Turn right I saw myself and the memories that I no longer have the ability to create.

They said time will heal, but time moves very slow when we are awaiting for something and it's flying very fast when we want it to stop.

Does everyone do the same thing? Waiting for the time to fly and hope to erase or replace the old face? How sad...

Anyway, my brother had an operation already. I also have no idea why they changed their mind. They put the metal to keep his ankle straight and wait for the bone to grow back for now. After he's fine, they will perform another operation to take out the metal part.

At least my day is not a very bad day anymore.

Also yesterday night, we had the excuse of throwing Max a farewell before he head to Botswana this coming Thursday, so we all decided to go SingK [I think only me think this is an excuse]. We went RedBox @ The Curve [where me and Ben went for the gathering recently :(].

Now I know why those whom are upset or stress like to drink alcohol. Yesterday, I had the whole jar of drought beer by myself. It didn't make me forget everything but it did stop me and turn me from very sad to very mad. May be this is how it work.

p.s.: the karaoke place was not bad, the food was fine. About the same with Neway @ puchong.

How long more do I have to pretend that I'm fine?

How long more do I have to stop cry myself to sleep and stop wake up every night just because of the nightmare?

How long does it take to completely let him go out of my mind?

p.s.: day 5th...

p.s.s.: day 15th of April

Things didn't go the way it used to be.

I don't feel like doing anything at all, I just wanna stay still and stare.

I don't feel like getting up from the bed even I already woke up.

I don't feel like watching my favorite show any more...


Sigh~ my goodness, I miss him [:(]


p.s.: I still alive, so I update the blog.

p.s.s.: RM 600 had already in the bank, thanks god~!!

Worst part of my life

Today is Khmer New Year [13th - 16th April], I gave my parent a call and say Happy New Year to them. While I was talking on the phone, my dad sounded so exhausted and tired. I asked him why? He had a restless night. It is because my brother got into an accident yesterday. My dad started to change his voice and he passed the phone to my mom.

Mom said my brother broke his ankle(s) [i didn't ask how many, I was crying]. The doctor couldn't perform the operation because the bone was broken into pieces they scare if they do the operation the bone might collapse. So, they have the choice of forcing the blood to come out from the bone and wrapped from the outside for at least six months and hopefully he could walk properly.

I feel awful. Imagine my parent in their 50+ of age have to take care of my brother on the new year day. No one taking care of them. My sis and me are not at home. Only my brother lives with them and I hope that he could take care of him self and parent. Now it's the other way around.

April 2008, the worst month of my 24 years old life so far. My house mates are unreliable. My RM1000+ is flying elsewhere not in my bank account. The love of my life left me. My brother got into an accident.

Why does it all happen at the same time? Max said "sometime things happen for no reason and we don't know why too." But I know things happen for a reason. I just couldn't figure out why right now.

Today is 13th April, 17 days more to pass April. What else could it possibly happen? How worse could it be?

p.s.: if you don't see me update this blog till May, assuming I'm already gone.

Friday, 11th April, 2008

They said when we haven't lost whatever we have, we will never appreciate it. Now I am regret for taking things for granted. May be all these while I have never once be a good girlfriend.

I guess he know how much I love him and I guess he just cannot keep going like that anymore. Broke my heart today is always better than 3 or 5 years after today. It's never been good being heart broken. Every single thing I saw, it brings the memory of him to me.

Now I have to wake up every morning and tell myself that I am all by myself from now onward. Every Saturday I have to remind myself that no one pick me up around 2pm anymore. No more Saturday movie. No more movies/shows on Sunday night. No more taking turn for cooking. No one I want to bake cake for. Every road we took, every where we went...everything.

He offered me his shoulder to cry on after he said "we still can be friend." I felt so numb, I can't even unlock the door.

For the last time I hugged him for 5 sec, in my mind I wanted to stop the time and let us be us forever nothing can interrupt us.

I might have nothing to lose because I still have my own life to live on. But he forgot one thing, I've committed to this relationship. I have shared it same space with my heart and soul. Losing him is just like losing part of myself.

Now what should I do? Keeping myself busy? Like how?

I miss him every single day, I just didn't say. It make me and him feel bad. Because we don't have so much time for each other. Now, even I wanted to tell him how much I miss him, it's already no chance.

I know it will never work if one of us doesn't want to continue, all I can do is watching him walk away from my life. I should have tell him I wanted to go Singapore with him. I should have tell him I don't like my job and go wherever he might go. I should have. Now what? he wanted me to stay happy in where I am, stay comfortable with the job I like...without him. These are all just my mistakes.

Please tell me what to do? Please tell me how to live this broken life...

From Buyer: The thing cannot use redi, can compensate some credits back?

From Mom: I didn't receive any credits from you, check with the bank.

From Bank: Oh they confused, it will take longer than what they told you.

From Seller: I didn't receive any credits from you, check with the bank.

From Bank: We already credited, please ask the seller to check.

From Supervisor: There is Tutor pos in MMU, you may wanna try it coz it will help you a lot.

From BF: I told you I sick so eventually I might take MC, why?

From Boss: ONE of you will have to come to Botswana.

Question: how long do you spend your time with your love one?
Answer: who? me? 19 hours [included the sleeping, bathing, toileting time...etc] in a week!!


Sigh~ it is because I received an sms from the senior said that we will have meeting with Tan Sri on Sunday [6th April] @ Pavillion, KL.
After I read the sms to Ben and said Sorry that I cannot stay at home on Sunday. He kindly smiled to me and said it's okay la... [it's not okay with me la]

It is kinda sad, isn't it? I can only spend 19 hours with him in a week and plus next week he will be going to Melaka having old friend farewell. Now what? 19 hours per two weeks? Ooo com'on man~ sigh~

UPDATE:

Okay~ After reading Siang chin's blog. I decide to cheer myself up by going to Cuppacakes by + Wondermilk. Who wanna go with me? [:D]

The place is at:

Cuppacakes sdn bhd
41 Jalan SS 21/1A
damansara uptown
damansara utama
47400 petaling jaya


Well let see... I know where is Uptown, I know where is PJ...but I have no clue how to get there [=.="]

Batman said I can take LRT [and he forgot the station name] and then I can take Putra Bus to Uptown area... [O_o]

Hmmm sound complicated and lost.... may be I will go for the plan A.... Who wanna go with me [:D]?? lolz

The moment of truth

"plue_din: You are the shortest one with horrible temper."

I believe most of us have this moment when we heard the comments from others.

I don't have to think twice, it is true that I am not as tall as you and I have bad temper. But you know what? sometime I do not wanna hear all of these from you.

I have bad temper, I am sorry if I ever throw it at you. I cannot change myself as fast as I get to know you. The same thing apply to you that you cannot chagne yourself because you've never care about the people around you. I am trying my best to get along with you guys. You may teach me if I don't know, you may tell me if I am wrong, I am all ears. But I do not wanna hear the way you refer me as the shortest among the species. I know exactly how I look and I have never dressed up like a clown for you to judge SO just leave me alone as the way I am.

This is 100% true but it hurts, and it hurts a lot. When you are not good in something, you will never wanna hear people said YOU ARE BAD or YOU ARE HORRIBLE. All you wanna hear is: the not-good-yet, and the suggestion to improve on this and that. I believe we all wanna hear the good things. Those that claimed they wanna hear the bad comment so that they can improve, trust me, the moment you said they are bad they already hate you [the hatre might be gone after few minutes, no worry]. I did not mean you cannot comment the bad things, I just mean may be try to look around you first before you make a comment. Get to know your peopel and use different way of speech to give comment. It might help you like a lot.

You have your own character which you do not care what others people thinking or the environment you live in and you just wanna say it out because it is so true. And yes, you have the confident to do so, because you do not care that it might interfer with the people that about to hear whatsoever you are gonna say. And I cannot stop you from saying such a thing and what I can do is to let it go and being nice [nice as in act-like-nothing-ever-happen] though. I don't hate you for that [well...after few minutes you said] and I just have to bear in mind that I can't reach the top shelf of my cabinet because I am short. I can't walk in the same range with any of you because I am short. I can't talk in any beauty topic because I am short and so forth.

Because I just have to keep in mind that what you just said is absolute true no denial.

I also record down in my head right now that to whom that did not care my feeling, I shall not care about them as well. And so far, I have three records already. hahahaha

wowowow~ it's not a revenge. It is just the way it is. Just like I always said "What people do to you today is what you did to them yesterday." And No, I did not start it first, I only reflect back when I was once a victim.

Started from Monday, I always woke up around <5.30am> to <6.30am>...for heaven sake~ I just sit up and keep my eyes close [nop, the alarm not yet alert] until my brain sent the signal to my eyes to open and question: why I woke up?? what time is it now?? Then only I start to look for the phone and check the clock... and back to sleep like normal [lie down on the bed]

.....and that's one of the reason that make me 1) either late for work [>.<"] or 2) can't continue sleep at all + reach office super early + extra pimples [O_+"]

[Parental Advised: The following entry contains contents which may inappropriate for immature readers.]

And what the fuck is wrong with dropping friends in front of their own house? I just don't get the stupid idea of dropping point at the entrance. This is ridiculous, you see arr. The stupid road that I suppose to walk into my house is FREAKING DARK and the guards didn't let my friend to drop me inside the resident area. Why? because they have the reason of visitor cannot go inside after 12am, fine, fair and square. Then the next day, my friend wanna to take something from me at home. So I told the guard that my friend just drop me [in BM, because they fucking don't understand English much] then he said the drop point is here, cannot go any further. Then ok la I said they are my visitor we will give the license if you want, they need to take something from me at home. He still said just now I said drop only now said visitor so cannot go in. WTH?? If I were to say that my friend wanna take something from me at home in THE PROPERLY ENGLISH he wouldn't understand also. And when I tried to make thing easy for them to understand this bugger just take it for granted because he has the fucking button to open the gate.

Part of my work is to support the users, so I know the damn things when the users make complains. I am told to do my job with limited authorities and so does that guard. But NO, my manager teach us properly how to handle with users. The person I should kick ass right now is the idiot that call himself manager. This is fucked up management! I might mad at the guard because he didn't let us in. But the person I should blame is the idiot manager that told them to run this kind of rule without proper training or explanation.

FUCK IT! if your residential area are 100% confirmed secure and safe and THE FUCKING LIGHT IS ON, I wouldn't mind to walk in BUT IT'S NOT!! And I know you have the rights to change the rule and regulation without any further notice, but you are so-called manager, so use your brain put sign board or tell your staffs to tell the resident PROPERLY or what.

I can walk in to their office and make a complain right away, but I won't. I got better things to do rather than WAITING [if you know what I mean] for the stupid manager and I bet half of the office staffs cannot understand what I'm about to complain in English too. USELESS & HOPELESS!

april fool~ muahaha

<8.03am>
me: pick me up, will you?
*beep*beep*
max: ok.

[at the same time....]

me: I lost my wallet, mayb dropped somewhere after paid the parking ticket last night :(
*beep*beep*
kevin: did you check with max see got drop in his car?
*beep*beep*
me: check redi, no wor :(
*beep*beep*
kevin: call to maybank freeze your visa card first.
*beep*beep*
me: ok la, i felt bad redi. I din lost anything AND HAPPY APRIL FOOL :D
*beep*beep*
kevin: mother you la.


*beep*beep*
max: I will reach there in 5mn.
[after 4mn...]
*beep*beep*
me: M at office AND HAPPY APRIL FOOL :D

food and movie

The new GSC just opened in Alamanda, Putrajaya and they have this promotion which all we need to do is go to their website and print out the coupon or cut out the coupon from The Star newspaper then you can watch the shows [re-showing shows like National Treasure 2, CJ7 and few more movies] for free [1 coupon = 2 persons] already. So nice~ hahaha

So after 7pm on the Monday blue, me and my colleagues catch the movie [National Treasure 2] there. The decoration is nice and different from other cinema, the seat and the theater also ok. But we have one problem [>.<"] after the show finished we have to walk outside the mall for a distance to either get back in the mall or go to the parking lots. Where got like that one... haih~

[behind the scene... =.="]

The show starts at <9.30> so we go hunt for food before fall asleep in the theater.... hehehehe

Since I'm the only people whom always been to Alamanda [I also show them how to go there muahaha]... so I bring them to The Coast.

Jenn Ting and Max


Grill Salsa Fish


Macho Chicken


Grill Steak

I thought it was ok but Dennis and Kevin prefered Diizan more [=.="]. Anyway, the food is nice lo [for me :D].