"When you kiss me on that street, I kiss you back."
The lyric of the song just draw my thought to you. Tear is pouring on those cheeks with no explanation. I didn't know that I would miss you this much.
I'm drenched, in your love. I'm no longer able to hold it back.
I'm sorry if you are reading this and have to know this. But I just miss you so much.

Big house with an empty heart.

If

I should have told you earlier

Happy Ending by Mika

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love [repeat]

I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.

Drenched by Wanting 曲婉婷

When minutes become hours
When days become years
And I don't know where you are
Colors seem so dull without you
Have we lost our minds
What have we done
But it all doesn't seem to matter anymore

When you kissed me on that street, I kissed you back
You held me in your arms, I held you in mine
You picked me up to lay me down
When I look into your eyes, I can hear you cry
I'm drenched in your love
I'm no longer able to hold it back
Is it too late to ask for love
Is it wrong to feel right
When the world is winding down
Thoughts of you linger around

Have we lost our minds
What have we done
But it all doesn't seem to matter anymore

When you kissed me on that street, I kissed you back
You held me in your arms, I held you in mine
You picked me up to lay me down
When I look into your eyes
I can hear you cry for a little bit more of you and I
I'm drenched in your love
I'm no longer able to hold it back

When you kissed me on that street, I kissed you back
You held me in your arms, I held you in mine
You picked me up to lay me down
When I look into your eyes
I can hear you cry for a little bit more of you and I
I'm drenched in your love
I'm no longer able to hold it back

The fight

These couple of days were the downer.
It has come to my sense that I start to question myself: why and how this situation has arrived?

Overwhelming was not chosen by my dictionary, I am telling myself that I am lacking and in need of intense learning more and quick. But things just keep coming and the surrounding just keep growing while I am sitting in one place and concentrate to archive one thing at a time. I felt rather slow and upsetting.

Perhaps, I'm not ready for this. Perhaps, I am just not it. Perhaps, it's gonna take a great challenge to prove that I'm worthy.
I'm going to choose that it is a great challenge and I shall and worth fighting for. Let's pray that I will last the fight.

I am blessed and loved because thy loved

First thing first, this is a belated post. I drafted this last month and completely left it out.

This year is different.

I didn't arrange my own birthday dinners or parties to match with different groups of friends or choice of food and/or location. I just didn't. I just played by ears.

To my surprise, it was a remarkably, in particular, good day. 

Dinner after dinner, cake after cake, gift after gift, drink after drink all weekend.

And those weren't the best part; the best part is when you realized that you are remembered. You are remembered and cared and loved. Someone who cares enough to wish you, cares enough to catch up for a quick coffee or dinner. Cares enough remember what you prefer and like.

That is probably I could ask for, I am so blessed to wake to this great day and continue to be awesome as what God has planned for me.

I couldn't thank you all enough, but I know you know that I love you guys! 

A really early gift from my Krazy princess

A thoughtful gift from Stranger

My favorite (color) necklaces from Reuben and Prav

Another thoughtful gift from Reza and Cheryl

Another favorite gift from Clement and Fezzen

Favorite gift to match the cocktails gift from Ivan and Denise

The you-know-what-I-want-Bitch! gift from the Matabane (answer: it's the summer chair)

Cute gift from Kak Ju

Cake!

Home baked favorite cake (Red Velvet) coats with favor color icing

More delicious cake

The gifts to myself was a sweet sense from Prada

And a pampered get away holiday at Langkawi

p.s. the girl in the picture was not me, I was the one who took the picture. 

Ben Harper - Another Lonely Day

Set The Fire To The Third Bar - Snow Patrol ft. Martha Wainwright

"Set The Fire To The Third Bar"
(feat. Martha Wainwright)

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My fingers in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have traveled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms 

Lingering

It's scary and depressed, and desperate knowing what lie ahead waiting for oneself in the future. You've seen it or predict it, you'd be able to change it but what if you did not want to change? And yet, it's torturing to live with it.
There is no what if in this case, I just did not want to change anything yet. I do not know why do I want to preserve this memory and the past to live with me in the future, but somehow, that is so far the most comforting to have at the moment.
Would you cry over the lost of something you've never had?